I Was--It Was

It was OR I was

I was sitting in church a few Sundays ago,

And my attention wasn’t focused on the pastor…

I was instead concentrating on my breathing.

I was thinking about my diaphragm contracting,

Increasing the volume of my thoracic cavity, allowing air to flow in

Down the concentration gradient, from the high pressure of outside, into my lungs.

The oxygen from this air was absorbed into the blood through the alveoli,

And the blood traveled down the pulmonary vein to that big lump of muscle,

My heart.

Oh how my heart beats!

(I know how it beats; the Sino-atrial node sends an electric pulse to stimulate coronary muscle)

Oh how my blood flows!

(I know how it flows; from veins to the right atrium, then the right ventricle, and then through the arteries.)

Oh how my muscles move!

(I know how they move; calcium floods the sarcomere, causing proteins on the actin filament to move and allow the myosin heads to attach to actin filaments).

I was definetly not focused.
But this knowledge had some intrinsic value as I sat in the sanctuary.

I then thought of the sensations these omnipresent physiological processes allow.

They let us move, breathe, smell, see, hear, feel, laugh, remember, eat, poop

What a blessing!

At this most basic level, I didn’t know where to direct my gratitude.

I have a lot of thanks built up, and it is precious to me.

I don’t want to waste it.

So, I’ll thank the people I know can hear me.

The ones that I have shared these experiences with.

It was fun to laugh until it hurt with Marin in World Religions last year.

It was good (but a bit scary) to get way too competitive in Pictionary. (Sorry Abby)

It was hard to go to a memorial service for a grieving friend and family.

It was exciting to learn about and investigate the world through my teachers.

It was stressful to plan out my next four years.

It was hilariously difficult to fight off senioritis (still is)

It was cathartic to sing and act with a group of like-minded peers.

It was depressing to read our novels (1984, The Stranger, Woman at Point Zero)

It was necessary to be exposed to hard concepts (1984, The Stranger, Woman at Point Zero)

It was sweet to build life-long friendships with a group of awesome teenagers.

This list is not exhaustive, but I am exhausted.

Thanks for the memories!

(And the ones to come, I’m realizing that we still have more school)

(Which is a good thing)

(Right?)

Walt Whitman: The Bohemian's Rhapsody

Whitman’s Journal:

            On the first page of Whitman’s journal, it looks like he has written several people’s addresses. It starts with a name, “M Lenan”, and then lists an address, “81 Cleremont Av.” He then begins with his big idea, under the heading, “Brochure”: “Two characters as of a dialogue between A. Lincoln and ‘Someone’” (it probably said Whitman). On these first two pages, and on others scattered throughout the notebook, there are stamps that read “Library of Congress”. I feel like that was a later addition however. Probably from the library of Congress. Hmm. During the first page of written script, Whitman seems to be wrestling topics about religion, philosophy, and Christianity specifically. He is choosing the order of his words carefully, crossing out words that don’t apply, and completing his thoughts in the margins. After this page, however, he begins to delve into poetry. With this change in the kind of writing, his script becomes more confident. He uses metaphors, like in the “Ship of Libertad,” to represent the journey of his philosophy. Throughout the poem, he is commanding the “clouds of death”, and the “mad winds”, to “tug at the planks” of the Ship, because he wants to “see what stuff you (Ship of Libertad) are made of,”. This entire poem seems optimistic. He believes in the power of this ship, the, “Ship of the world—Ship of Humanity—Ship of Promise,” His writing process is revealed in this poem as well. Periodically, he will include a small question mark instead of a word, “Let them ?”, perhaps to be filled in later with a phrase he needs to think about.

            In these first four pictures, I think Whitman is illustrating the main characters of his dialogue, himself and Lincoln. The first two look like pictures I have seen of him, and his first portrait seems less like a caricature than the second. This perhaps shows his comfort with portraying himself in a foolish light. The two other pictures are far more serious, as they portray Lincoln, with his classic top hat. The picture after that is way out of my depth. It looks at first glance like a pioneer woman’s head covering, but also a little bit like a goose, so I’m not sure. And wow. This last picture with the skeleton is pretty cool, but slightly sad. It is a gruesome picture, a skeleton being stabbed by a sword in his oversized heart. But the skeleton is giving us a shrug of acceptance, and the landscape is beautiful. It provides an ironic contrast, maybe to display the beauty of death.

Additional Thoughts:

            Ah, I was wondering what he meant by those “two religious—platforms”. According to this, he wished to reconcile slaveholders into the Union, and so wanted a new., all encompassing “third religion,” which embraced “that which is not conscience, but against it,”. He wishes to not exclude whatever philosophy or idea exists. The first post-modernist? He intentionally used the Spanish word “Libertad”, which I suspected. I felt like it couldn’t have just been a persistent misspelling. I had thought that this Libertad represented some American Ideal, but I didn’t realize that the Ship Libertad was meant to represent the struggle of America during the Civil War.

            So these sketches weren’t by Whitman, interesting. However, these notes point out that he enjoyed having his portrait drawn. Apparently all four of the pictures of people were portraits of himself. The hat he wore that reminded me of Lincoln was a part of his signature bohemian look. Oh snap. This picture that I thought was a goose or pioneer woman is actually a harp! Wow, I’m embarrassed. And the mysterious skeleton man is just that, a mystery. The historians think it could represent the halfway state of America at this time, suspended “between day and night, life and death,”.